Let's be honest.
Or maybe I'll just be honest. Sometimes I don't feel very good at what I do. Insecurities come knocking and not only do I open the door, I prepare a feast for them to come and dine.
Are you the same way? Don't worry, this will get more encouraging.
It's a strange habit. It's as if I'm completely unhappy with who I am, how I'm wired and what God has gifted me with. It's as if I wish God had made me another person.
- I'm getting old. I've lost my edge.
- I have a growing family. I can't do what I used to do.
- My songs aren't as good as his songs.
- I don't have the connections I wish I had.
- I'll never fully reach my potential.
- I don't know how to lead worship anymore.
- I wish I was more popular.
Do you entertain many of the same insecurities? Do you have others?
The other day I asked my good friend, Malcolm DuPlessis, how we can be more authentic as worship leaders. Malcolm is a voice I deeply respect—prophetic, pastoral and challenging.
To hear the whole conversation, check out my most recent podcast.
You know what he said?
"It's impossible to try and be authentic. To just be comfortable in one's own skin is a great gift."
After hearing those words, I could breathe a sigh of relief. My stressed-out, striving, prove-to-the-world-I'm-valuable self could just relax.
I don't need to be like someone else. I don't need to compare myself. Because the greatest gift I can give to the world is to be myself. The more comfortable I am with who I am, the more effectively I can lead people to Jesus. When I'm discontent and competitive, I simply draw attention to my own hustle and striving, which doesn't help anybody.
This is all easier said than done. We always want what we don't have. We want to be that which we are not. But what would happen if we all leaned fully into who God created us to be? What kind of explosive impact would we have?
The Problem with Insecurity
The problem is the pressure we all feel. We know the artists that top the iTunes charts. We see who gets the most attention. Celebrity leaders are everywhere. And we feel we need to be like them in order to succeed.
But what if the greatest gift you could give to the world was to be yourself? You—your raw, real, simple self. No pretense. No masks. Just you as God designed you to be.
Insecure worship leaders also don't lead their teams well. They see other musicians as a threat rather than an opportunity for disciple making. They are the greatest limitation to their ministry because they don't give others a chance to surpass them.
Which is a lot easier said than done. No one likes to be second best or outshined by another. But when you hit that sweet spot of ignoring your own notoriety and become a champion of other's success, you start making the difference you are capable of making.
So breathe a sigh of relief. Love the person God has designed you to be. And the next time insecurities come knocking, don't answer the door.
Just get to work doing God's will, making disciples, and shining a spotlight on the glory of God.
David Santistevan is a worship pastor at Allison Park Church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. For the original article, visit davidsantistevan.com.
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